Pacing in the green room

Back and forth I pace in our green room. I bounce, I sing old hymns and blue grass with screaming in my ear. I cry, I get fustrated, and I then feel guilty for feeling fustrated. I have spent a lot of time in the green room with Elijah just pacing and if he allows it I rock him while he looks at daddy's deer. Atleast our green room is my favorite room in the house. It has lots of windows and the sunshine makes the sage walls and white baseboards glisten. I feel the green room reflects who Micah and I are the most. We have pictures of our travels and old family photos of when we were younger. I try to focus on  these things while I am holding my screaming son. I feel the bubbles on my figures as I massage his back and stomach this makes me feel horrible for the pain he is in. Pacing does eventually help him calm down. FINALLY, I feel him go limp in my arms and then I can breath again until the next attack. My beautiful boy is such a unique addition to our family. Praying these troubles pass quickly but reminded that God has blessed us with our little miracle that I am still trying to savor & cherish the time.


Adilynn helping to distract him during on of his crying spells giving mommy & daddy a break.